- DON'T PLAY GAMES WITH STRANGE KIDS -
"IIIII... SEEEEE... YOOOOUUU...KNUX & STEVE!" a rather shaky, disembodied voice calls out. The strain in it was like nails on a chalk board or like an angry uncle scorning you after smoking a pack of Newports. It was just an unnerving voice. An ANGRY unnerving voice. The screen was still black, but already the AEW fans couldn't look away. Not since the last advertisement for the newest toy that kids couldn't afford has viewer attention been this high. Again the disembodied voice speaks. "IIII... SEEEEE... YOOOOOUUU... WOLVES! the voice warns again. The picture begins to come into focus now. While the image itself was a distorted color of whites, blacks and greens... there was no denying what the viewers seen. Sami Callihan was wild eyed and chaotic; in other words, nothing was new. He was outside of some arena- most likely at the American Airlines Arena with Ambrose and Hardy for the cross promotional Global Wrestling Federation show. No doubt he was there to keep the numbers in the favor of their pals, but for right now Callihan seemed to be alone. Well, him and his camera woman. It was obvious someone was manually recoding this because the image had a slight tremble two it and the viewers could here the breath of two people.
Callihan stood close to the camera with his head cocked to the side and one beady, crow-like eye fixed on the camera as if he could physically see the people he was talking to. A sort of challenging and boastful expression of his face as he continues to name drop.
'The New Horror' Sami Callihan: "Vaudevillians- don't you try to hide! Don't you try to hide- don 't- DON'T YOU TRY TO HIDE! BECAUSE I CAN SEE YOU TOO! I DO!... SO DON'T TRY ME, OKAY!? BECAUSE RIGHT NOW YOUR FRIEND SAMI CALLIHAN HAS SOMETHING TO SAY!" Callihan shouting, his temper clearly starting to get the better of him and spit being to fly in speckles in the direction of the lens like some kind of human Tasmanian devil. He even had the hair for it.
No spit actually hit the camera, Havok seemed to know Sami rather well in a creepy sort of way and avoided ruining the shot of the video. From behind the camera fans could here her chuckle like a demented brat that had just caught a noisy cricket and decided to rip its' legs off. She focused in and got a nice shot of Sami Callihan leaning with his back against the building wall and his head bowed as if in thought or- God forbid, prayer. With his free hand he absentmindedly tugged at his bottom lip so it gave his face a grizzled expression and his speech a slight slur. He didn’t seem to care either way.
'The New Horror' Sami Callihan: "I even seen them Sons Of Sandow suns uh' bitches commin'... they think their slick, but I've got an eye on 'um. They ain't getting past me" Callihan says more to himself, the white trash in his voice becoming more obvious by the moment.
Maybe white trash, broken boys was Havok's thing because she cackled her mean, goth girl giggle before speaking.
'The Death Machine' Jessicka Havok: "You tell 'em, baby... they can't hide from us. No... no, no, no, no" Havok's voice trailed off, but that isn't what bothered the listeners. It was how... casual the voice sounded. Almost innocent even, like a toddler distracted by a butterfly.
Not at all the voice they thought would be behind the gas mask. Sure, it sounded broken in that way all Switch Blade members sound broken. But this was something else... something far more disturbed. A strange control to it that not even Dean or Sami could pull off. It sent chills down spines. And fans almost dreaded it when Havok spoke again. But the tables turned and it was Callihan's turn to look unfazed by this as if this was just another day in his life. AEW was just lucky enough to share it with him.
'The Death Machine' Jessicka Havok: "These kids didn't want to play nice, they... cornered you. They tried to bully you... they tried to HURT...YOU!" suddenly that admirable control in Jessicka Havok was starting to slip. The camera itself shook a tad more violently and Sami was no longer in focus. "THEY TRIED TO TAKE!---" Havok was close to morbid hysterics now.
Callihan suddenly cut her off, not bothering to lift his head at all. Once again showing how wonderful their Mr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde relationship must be... in their own minds, because to everyone else they looked insane (fans knew damn good and well that Sami was no Doctor and didn't even try to kid themselves). Neither seemed to flinch at the others ticks and triggers. Sami spoke up in a more controlled but always raspy and gravely voice.
'The New Horror' Sami Callihan: "But we stopped them, didn't we?..." Callihan gave Havok a moment to process his words. It was obvious her attention was fixed on him. "Family... looks out for one another. And that is exactly what we did last week. We protected...what was ours" he said this as if he had said this to himself several times before.
Havok responded, her breaths a bit heavier than before.
'The Death Machine' Jessicka Havok: "Wuh'-WE... we protected what was ours. We refused to lay down... they took nothing. And if they ever try again, nothing is what they will keep getting. Bullies don't deserve nice things...do they, Sami?" she asked in that sort of airy way again, like nothing had happened.
Callihan looks up into the camera. His face morphed back into the pain in the ass demon that he is. His eyes circled in black rings from cheap eyeliner and a lack of sleep. His upper lip curling in that renown sneer of his again as he speaks.
'The New Horror' Sami Callihan: "No, Jess... they don't. They sure the hell don't. These little play-dough pansies don't want to try their luck with us! Because we run the playground now! Do you see what we have!?" Callihan reaches down and for a moment AEW fans hope he isn't going to try and pull a Jim Morrison and flash his 'New Horror' to a world wide audience.
But luckily Callihan lifts his hand up and displays his half of the AEW World Tag Team Titles. He holds it by the strap and makes sure that the name plate with 'Sami Callihan' engraved on it just so people didn't forget who it belonged to.
'The Death Machine' Jessicka Havok: "Ooohhh, pretty" Jessie mused from behind the camera, chuckling again. "Mine has my name on it too" she said proudly.
Callihan gave an almost sinister looking grin, his face beaming with pride.
'The New Horror' Sami Callihan: "You're damn right it does! And you earned it, little lady! Did you hear that AEW!? We earned what we got! And once you know the value of hard work you're not just gonna' hand that shit over! So when the Age of the Fall and Team S.A.-W.T.F... SOFT!; which I still don't know what it means because social media can eat me! But what I do know is when those knock off 'good fella's' and those Switch Blade wannabe's tried to step to Sami Callihan and Jessicka Havok... we left them in pieces! Do you know why that is? Huh!? It's because Sami Callihan and Jessicka Havok are like no other Tag Team Champions that Attitude Era Wrestling has ever known before! We don't just hold these titles in silent, somber dignity! We keep these babies alive and relevant! Something this division hasn't been able to call itself in a long, LONG! TIME!" Callihan snarls after the last two words, hocking back a loogy before spitting it off to the side and out of camera view.
There is one half of your World Tag Team Champions, ladies and gentlemen... don't you feel classy? But elegance aside, Callihan was right about one thing. No tag team has been so eager to endorse physical and sometimes chaotic violence on their opponents the way that Sami Callihan and Jessicka Havok. And even worse... no team has seemed to enjoy it as much as they have either. Jessicka was practically swooning from behind the camera for her little, hairy goblin king. And Callihan really seems to have come into his own since picking up the titles. There was a confidence that hadn't been there before. And you could hear it when he spoke again. Callihan took a step closer and leaned so once again he had that Crow-like eye close to the camera; making the viewers shift in their seats and cling on to his words. Sami lifts his hand and gestures with his words, like an enthusiastic rambler trying to drive a point home. Which, lets face it... he was.
'The New Horror' Sami Callihan: "Let those statistics really sink in boys! Let it fester! Because people who set their eyes on these titles- things don't really work out well for them! They tend to learn the harrrddd waaaay!" Callihan's voice slightly shook with a tinge of aggression and the corner of his mouth twitches up in a smirk. "They risk life and limb when they come hunting for Team Death Machine! Those idiots, they-they-they come looking for a fight with-with the World Tag Team Champions!-THEY DON'T LAST LONG!" Callihan started to crack.
'The New Horror' Sami Callihan: "HAVE YOU SEEN JIMMY JACOBS AROUND LATELY!? OR BARON CORBIN!? AND WE ACTULAAY LIKED THOSE GUYS! YOU ALL SEEN!-NOT EVEN THAT COULD STOP US! NOT EVEN A COMMON ENIMY! SO DON'T THINK FOR ONE SECOND WE'RE NOT AWARE THAT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU ARE TAKING AIM AT OUR BACKS! BECAUSE!... ... ... ... ..." Callihan had to stop and take a few deep breaths and calm down.
Sami stalked from side to side for a moment, his head tilted back and his breath slow and mechanical. His body shook slightly and he looked like a man off of meds. However, after a few seconds Sami managed to take control of himself again and lean back into the camera- trying best to pick up where he had left off.
'The New Horror' Sami Callihan: "Because we are the tag team champions... and we expect you to. So come on guy, take your shots. Take every opportunity you see to slit our throats- hell slit each others throats while you are at it! Do what you have to do to bring the fight to us! Don't pull a single damn punch-because we won't! Muster up all you have because when you face team Death Machine, more than your career is on the line! Your life is on the line! Your livelihood is on the line! Your self respect- and the respect of others! You risk it all! And if you're not ready to play those odds then you need to walk away NOW! Because there are no humble, unmotivated men holding these titles! What you see here is an equality... in brutality! Jessicka Havok and Sami Callihan... the cannibal couple! Step into the ring with us and we will chew your fuckin' faces off! Got it!? I sure as hell hope so... because you have to wake up pretty damn early to get the drop on us. And we have insomnia bitches! So what!? Like I said... we'll be watching you. And next week when we come home... we'll be waiting to see all you would-be challengers with... open arms" that didn't sound good. But it was Sami's final word on the subject.
The hand held camera drops and for a moment the AEW fans are given an upside down and crooked view of the American Airline Arena. Callihan and Havok were heading towards the building and despite all the disturbing words and imagery they were shown- a slight sigh of release crept over the people tuning in to Concussion and not Summer Slam. All four Switchblade Conspiracy members were not in the arena. They were off battling the Global Wrestling Federation... meaning for one week only, no knives were held to the throat of AEW. They could all breath a little freer. But this peace would not last. Sooner than they liked to think... this group would come home. And the war would be back on. The scene fades to black with that delightful thought.